Blog

Jul 29, 2023

Looking on the bright side of life

You are not permitted to download, save or email this image. Visit image gallery to purchase the image. Do you have a work-life balance? Can you prioritise family and friends as well as your own

You are not permitted to download, save or email this image. Visit image gallery to purchase the image.

Do you have a work-life balance? Can you prioritise family and friends as well as your own mental and physical wellbeing alongside your work? Living a flourishing life can be finding that balance and ensuring it is not all about your job.

Globally, life coaching is a multibillion dollar industry and has become more popular due to the pandemic and movements such as The Great Resignation and Quiet Quitting.

A Life Coach should ideally have proof of training (in other words, not just an Instagram Influencer) and accreditation with either the ICF – International Coaching Federation – or ANZCAL – Australia and New Zealand Coaching Alliance. Their business is your wellbeing, whether that’s you identifying and achieving goals, gaining a more fulfilled work-life or having better personal relationships. It has a focus upon the future.

Life coaching became more widely known in the 1980s and thereafter grew in popularity, encompassing a wide range of areas such as financial, diet and fitness, and career changes. A Life Coach is not a qualified psychotherapist and they should not be offering to help with serious mental health issues. Psychiatrists assist with mood and anxiety disorders, healing trauma, and other mental health conditions. Life Coaches want to discover the obstacles that may be holding you back. They should, over time, give you strategy suggestions that will identify your strengths and skills and help you to overcome any obstacles.

“The land of burnout is not a place I ever want to go back to.” - Arianna Huffington.

Burnout is a state of emotional, mental and physical exhaustion, occurring when you may feel overwhelmed, emotionally drained and you are finding it difficult to function properly. People with burnout can begin to lose interest in their job, feel detached, cynical, resentful and underappreciated. Some or all of these symptoms may be experienced when burning out:

Low energy and feeling drained; trouble sleeping; headaches and anxiety; a lack of motivation and isolating yourself, and constant irritability. Burnout can creep up slowly and recognising the signs and symptoms in yourself and others is crucial. It is common in over-achievers and those working long hours.

Prevention and recovery

In the worst cases, burnout can result in having to take a lengthy time away from work. A doctor should be consulted when experiencing the symptoms above.

A wellbeing plan could help prevent it happening. Some may seem obvious and not suit you, but have helped others:

A Gratitude Diary: it has been proven that regularly practicing gratitude affects the brain positively, boosting dopamine and serotonin. Jottings: a pen and pad beside the bed can be useful for writing down worries and anxieties. This may help the brain to let go of them. Labelling: a tool used in Mindfulness, negative feelings are identified and labelled so you can create distance from them. You could also try asking yourself, if money was no object, what would I do? What is the best version of myself? What do I really want from life?

Burnout is increasing, so reach out to others if you are struggling. Many workplaces offer EAP, the Employee Assistance Programme. Finding things that make you happy outside of work can help, even if it’s just having a coffee with a friend to “switch off.” Turn off screens and take a break, especially if you’re in the habit of answering work emails in the evening. Set boundaries! Connecting with a cause is beneficial, as “giving back” can help our self-esteem and may combat low moods. Taking care of our health by eating well, exercising and finding ways to relax can all assist in prevention and aid our recovery if the flame has burnt too low.

-Gill Towle

Word of Mouth

How do you incorporate fitness into your busy life?

I’m fortunate at this stage of my life that I no longer have many family responsibilities and am free to exercise anytime outside of working hours. I establish and follow routines instinctively. So, I never spend much time thinking, “What should I do?” I just follow my regular weekly schedule. Not everyone works that way but it makes for a consistent regime if you do: don’t think, just do.

What I do is a weekly round of martial arts classes, plus some swimming and cycling. I’ve been practicing Seido karate for 40 years now and I train in the dojo about four times a week. I also do a weekly swim as an “off-day”: 40 lengths of breast-stroke at Moana Pool. At the weekend I like to do at least one cycle of about 15km, usually around the harbour trail. I also have a hill route from my home to St Clair and back. Whenever I get the chance, I love to go up into Central Otago and bike a section of the cycle trail there.

Is there enough awareness about men’s mental health in New Zealand?

Probably not, especially when you consider all the terrible mental health statistics and suicide rates that disproportionately afflict men. It’s interesting to hear of good initiatives in our rural communities, like Farmstrong, tackling the mental health crisis among farmers. There’s probably room for more grassroots support of that nature to help men; good blokes talking to good blokes. I’m very fortunate to have some great male networks – through karate, at work, and in my extended family – that provide that for me. I’m also anchored by my spiritual life, drawing on ancient tradition and sustained by a church community that is welcoming, inclusive and supportive.

There also seems to be a lot of negativity towards masculinity floating about in contemporary culture, which won’t be helping young men to discover their inner strength. Personally, I absolutely love being a man and draw a lot of the essence of who I am from my masculine identity. Part of that are undoubtedly the great male role models I had when growing up, but it also reflects the rich cultural heritage of male hero-figures that fired my imagination as a boy. Aspiring to heroism seems to me to be an essential quality on the path to manhood. In my experience, becoming a hero – as a father, as a husband, as a mate – is what helps build a strong sense of male wellbeing.

How would you describe your diet?

It’s idiosyncratic. My diet is quite balanced and nutritious but very limited: 5+ a day, cereal with nuts and seeds, meat and coleslaw, and very little carbohydrate. I don’t think it would appeal to many people, but it suits me. I follow a time-limited eating schedule, starting at midday and finishing as early in the evening as possible, usually determined by when I get home from karate. Between the two meals, I have fruit for afternoon tea but no other snacks. Once a week I have a chocolate éclair from Mornington Bakery as a lunchtime treat, and most Friday nights I go to Golden Harvest for a chinese meal (always the same thing). At Christmas, I have a “food holiday” where I eat lots of things I don’t eat during the year. I also increase my daily exercise regime at that time, which balances out the excesses to a degree.

How do you maintain a good work/life balance?

I think that my natural inclination to follow routines probably undergirds my particular work-life balance. I actually work quite long hours because I do contract history in the evenings and weekends as well as my regular day job. I do take a break between my two daily work periods and exercise, eat, and read/watch/listen for a few hours before starting my second shift in the evening. Because I love researching and writing, my “work” doesn’t feel like a burden, but more like a hobby. That’s the benefit of doing something that you’re passionate about, for which I am very grateful. I also love travelling, which breaks up my usual routines for a spell and adds a refreshing variety to my life. I love going away, but then I love coming home again.